The week of dates that never were

dates that never were

My 2018 dating life started out with a lot of attention, more attention than I’ve had in months actually. Which should have tipped me off that it wasn’t all on the Up & Up. I decided to write this after being inspired by ATLEASTHAVEAFRIGGINGLASS.

Update – It’s not all doom and gloom. This week ended in staycation.

Date 1. The Take Back.

The first date I agreed to was actually a breaking of my rules. I agreed to a midweek dinner with this guy. I know I should have suggested we meet for coffee first, but I was feeling optimistic & carefree. He asked me out on Saturday, he did a couple of hours of thinking and that night came back with a suggestion for dinner which turned out to be one of my favourite casual restaurants. Sounds good so far right?
So something happened overnight, because the next morning he sent me a text asking what I was looking for from our date. I don’t know, we haven’t met yet, but you’re calling it a date so I guess dating would be on the table.
Turns our dating wasn’t on the table, he was just out of a relationship and really wasn’t looking for anything serious. This shouldn’t have made me as mad as it did. but he asked me out. I wasn’t the one doing the chasing here. If you didn’t want a date, then you shouldn’t have asked.

Date 2. The Texter.

It’s kind of ironic for me to be complaining that someone texts too much, considering I’m never far away from my phone and I get frustrated when people take too long to reply. But this was some next level ADD A WORD. This guy text me all through Monday, to the point that I started lying about meetings I didn’t have, just so he would give me a break.
Tuesday I pre-empted and told him I had a really busy day today. This worked until about 5:30 when he must have gotten home and sat glued to his damn phone all night. But I told myself ‘leave him be, he’s just friendly or excited’. Maybe he didn’t get out much or didn’t really know the social etiquette for texting someone that you haven’t met yet and had plans with 4 days later.
Wednesday I’d gotten jack of it. This guy was unstoppable, I couldn’t believe anyone needed this amount of contact with someone they’ve never met. So I decided to ignore a text. which only resulted in 4 follow up texts within 15 minutes; then a message on grindr to see if I was still there within 30 minutes of the original text. Boy cool it, you’re in stage 5 clinger territory and I can’t breathe. So I lied and told him that I’d been on the phone the entire time and dropped some truth on him about the overwhelming amount of communication being a huge turn off.

Date 3. The Flake.

This one I organised and I did all the right things; We’d chatted for a while, I asked him for coffee. We were going to meet before work on Friday, then I could head into the city afterwards. So Friday morning I messaged him to confirm that we were all good for the morning. No response.
1 hour later and still no response. This is the time that we’d agreed to actually have coffee, so it’s clearly not on. I’m glad I hadn’t bothered to head to the coffee shop and wait there. I didn’t get a response until 11:30 am. ‘Sorry man, I had stuff on this morning’.
No I’m sorry, not good enough. We organised this yesterday, if something came up you should have let me know.
This had better not set the tone for all of this year. But I’ve made a decision that I’m not trying to chase boys who aren’t worth my time and I’m steering clear of recently single guys for good measure. I should probably give up on Grindr too, but like most 20 something gays, I’m hooked.

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11 thoughts on “The week of dates that never were

  1. Man. We are off to quite a start, eh? I’d say things can only get better from here, but I’ve met a few gay guys before so I’m bracing for the next surprise…which will be Monday. 😬
    Nice read!

      1. Awesome!
        You kinda know me, I don’t like to be too outwardly optimistic. Darn jinxes. But every time I have a bad date, I think the next one will be that. much. better.
        I’m glad it worked for you!

  2. Hey there! Thanks for stopping by my blog, becomingnotbecame.org.
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  3. Dating these days is fucking brutal! Literally have to sift through shit to reach gold. Lol Don’t get discouraged though, the reward will be hard won but it’ll be worth it when you find the love of your life.

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